Friends are the family you choose
For my birthday, I got a card and a beautiful white doily from two good friends. The card read: “Good friends are forever”. The beautiful words embroidered on the doily read: “Friends are the family you choose” often attributed to journalist Edna Buchanan. These sayings have deep meanings for me. Some of the most meaningful bonds in our lives are not determined by blood relations, but by faith, love, loyalty, and our shared journeys with others through joys and sorrows.
This is what Jesus meant when He told His disciples, in John 15:15: “No longer do I call you servants… but I have called you friends.” By saying this, Jesus reveals the heart of His relationship with His disciples and us. He invites us into an intimate relationship, a friendship of truth and trust. To be called a friend of Jesus is to be drawn into His sacred heart, to share in His love and mission.
When I was growing up, my mother often used to say, “I want to know who your friends are.” My mother's concern and wisdom are from the familiar proverb: “Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are”. The people we surround ourselves with shape our values, our habits, and even our vision of the world. Our friends are often our formators for good or evil. We become, in many ways, a mirror of their lives.
The famous hymn, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”, reminds us that our truest and most faithful spiritual companion is the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. We bring to Him our bruises, burdens, griefs, and temptations in prayers. His friendship heals, transforms and comforts us. If we allow Jesus to be our closest confidant, His patience, mercy, and love will shape who we are, and how we relate to others.
Edna Buchanan’s proverb, “friends are the family we choose”, has become more than a sentiment for me. It is a reflection of divine grace at work in my ministry and relationships with God and people. God comforts, guides, and strengthens us through the friends He places in our lives, and especially through our personal friendship in Christ.
So, the question I have for you is: Do you have a friend—or best friend? If not, please allow me to introduce you to Jesus Christ, my friend, who calls us His own and walks with us through thick and thin. “A friend in need is a friend indeed,” means a true friend is one who stands by you when you are in need. In other words, true friendship is proven by actions rather than by words. Jesus said to His disciples, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." John 15:13. Always remember: “Good friends are forever.”
Remain Blessed,
Rev. Fr. Matthew Abu B. Cole, SMA,
Parochial Vicar